THE TEACHINGS OF ISLAM ON CARING FOR MOTHERS

A Short Story

A heart rendering story of a mother and her son. For those who would take heed.

Sulaimon’s  mum only had one eye, he hated her, he felt  she was such an embarrassment!

His mum cooked for teachers and students to support the family

There was one day during primary school where she came to say hello to him

He felt was so embarrassed, ‘how could she do this to me!’ He said

He ignored her, threw her an hateful look and ran out

The next day one of his class mates said "Eeww, your mum only has one eye!"

He wanted to bury himself, he also wanted his mum to disappear

So he confronted her and said, "If you're only going to make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die!"

His mum did not respond

I didn't even stop to think for a second about what he had said, because he was full of anger!

I was oblivious to her feelings, he wanted out of that house

So he studied really hard and got a chance to go to Singapore

Then he got married. He bought a house of his own. He had kids of his own and he was happy with my life

Then one day his mother came to visit him. She hadn't seen him in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren!

When she stood by the door his children laughed at her

He screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children! Get out fo here now!

And to this my mother quietly answered, "Oh, i'm sorry i may have gotten the wrong address."

One day a letter regarding a school reunion came to his house

So he  lied to his wife that he was going on a business trip

After the reunion he went to the old shack just out of curiosity

My neighbours said that she died

He did not shed a single tear

They handed him a letter she wanted me to have

To the smile of my life

My dearest son i think of you all of the time

I'm sorry that i came to Singapore and scared your children

I was so glad when i heard you were coming for the reunion

But i may not be able to even get out of bed to see you

I'm sorry i was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up

You see... when you were little, you got into an accident and lost your eye

As a mother i could not stand watching you having to grow up with one eye

So i gave you mine

Seeing a whole new world for me in my place with that eye

With my love to you

Your Mother

A Verse of the Holy Quran

We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth

Quran, Surah 46 Al Ahqaaf Verse 15

Many parts of the world celebrated Mother’s Day, focusing on mothers and their contributions to their

families. Since there is a negative stereotype of how Islam views women, many people may not know that mothers specifically and parents in general are held in very high esteem in the faith. There are verses in the Qur’an and hadith that emphasize the burdens that a mother carries and the respect that should be accorded to her. In this post, I will focus on the importance of mothers in Islam.
The verses of the Qur’an that address the mother emphasize the difficulties of pregnancy, labor, and breastfeeding and the need to respect one’s mother. These verses many times mention parents in general but go into detail in regard to the mother because she faces challenges that a father does not. Verse 15 from chapter 46 illustrates this point.
We are  to treat parents with kindness means to treat them with respect under all circumstances, to obey them unless it goes against an edict of the faith, and to care for them in old age as they cared for you as a child.
A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet (PBUH) said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim)

A man once consulted the Prophet Muhammad about taking part in a military campaign. The Prophet asked the man if his mother was still living. When told that she was alive, the Prophet said: “(Then) stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet.” (Al-Tirmidhi)
On another occasion, the Prophet said: “God has forbidden for you to be undutiful to your mothers.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

DUTY OF CHILDREN TOWARDS PARENTS CLEARLY DEFINED

The duty of a child towards is parent is clearly defined as seen below

1.        Quran says, "Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor." - Surah Al Isra (17:23).

2.       According to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the parents of a certain person are his Heaven or Hell. What this means is that if a person obeys his parents, attends to their needs and keeps them happy and comfortable, he will attain Paradise. On the other hand, if he is disrespectful and rude to them, offends them by ignoring their needs and feelings or causes them grief in any manner, his place shall be in Hell.

3.       Abu Hurairah, a companion of the holy Prophet, has said that "a person is indeed disgraced, who does not earn Paradise by caring for his parents during the life time and old age of his/her parents".

4.       A person once asked the holy Prophet, "Who has the greatest claim on me with regard to service and kind treatment?" The Holy Prophet replied, "Your mother and again your mother and once again your mother. After her is the claim of your father, then that of your near relatives, and then of the relations next to them".

5.       Asma bint Abu Bakr relates that her mother had come from Makkah to Madinah to meet her. Her mother was not a Muslim and followed pagan tribal customs and beliefs. Asma enquired from the holy Prophet how she was supposed to treat her. The holy Prophet told her to be kind and considerate and to behave towards her as was a mother's due from a daughter

6.       The holy Prophet has said that to abuse one's parents is a major sin.

Your mother is not a Prophet, nor is she an angel; she’s just a human like you and I, so why has Allah ordered you to be obedient towards your mother and why does your mother have such a high status in Islam?

Allah loves and cares for us more than anybody else, and he especially loves those people who love and care for others. Similarly, he becomes very angry with those people who hurt other people in any way. Allah the All-Knowing, knows that in this world nobody is more loving and caring towards another person than the

way that a mother is towards her child. Only Allah and his Messenger loves you more than your mother!
Only Allah knows what your mother does for you, He sees your mother feeling pain whilst she tries to give you whatever you want. He sees your mother’s love and kindness. Pleased by your mother’s actions, Allah has given her a very high status and many virtues and rewards.
Allah also sees that many of us are not thankful to our mothers. He sees many of us being disobedient towards them. Therefore, Allah has ordered us to be good towards our mothers; he has not advised us but ordered us; we have no choice; therefore we have to be good towards our mothers! To encourage us to do this, Allah Taa’la has promised paradise for those of us who are obedient towards our mothers. At the same time, Allah has threatened to severely punish those of us who do not listen to our mothers or hurt them in any way.
TEN REASONS FOR BEING THANKFUL TO YOUR MOTHER:
1. Your mother carried you in her stomach for 9 months bearing pain upon pain!
2. During this time, she could not eat because of you! She could not sleep because of you!
3. When you were a baby; she spent every minute of her life looking after you!
4. She only slept when you slept! She only ate after you had eaten!
5. She was patient and loved you even when you cried all night, and when you cried all day!
6. She taught you how to walk, how to speak, how to eat, she taught you how to live!
7. When you fall ill, she looks after you!
8. She always cooks and prepares food for you!
9. She buys you whatever you ask for!
10. She will always love you, no matter what you do!
THE MOTHER’S RIGHTS OVER HER CHILD
 (a) Love and respect, as much as possible, because she is the most deserving of people of her son’s good companionship.
 Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your father.’”
 (b) Taking care of her and looking after her affairs if she needs that; this is a debt that rests on the child’s shoulders. Did she not take care of him when he was a child and stay up with him at night and bear it all with patience?
 Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship. And she brings him forth with hardship…” [al-Ahqaaf 46:15]
 ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him for permission to participate in jihaad. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him, ‘Are your parents alive?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Then your jihaad is with them.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2842; Muslim, 2549)
 (c)   Not offending them or saying or doing anything that they dislike.
 Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“say not to them a word of disrespect” [al-Israa’ 17:23]
 (d)             Spending on her if she is in need  and does not have a husband who can spend on her or if her husband is poor; for the righteous, spending on one’s mother and feeding her is more precious than feeding their own children.
 Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them both) narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Three men went out walking and rain began to fall on them. They entered a cave in a mountain, then a rock fell (blocking the entrance to the cave). They said to one another, Pray to Allaah by virtue of the best deeds that you have done. One of them said, O Allaah, my parents were elderly and I used to go out and tend to my flocks, then I would milk them and bring the milk to my parents for them to drink from it, then I would give some to my children. One night I came home late and found them sleeping. I did not want to wake them, and the children were crying at my feet. I kept waiting and the children kept crying until dawn broke. O Allaah, if You knew that I did that for Your sake, then open a way for us through which we can see the sky. So a way was opened for them…” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2102; Muslim, 2743).
 (e)              Obeying her when she tells you to do something good. But if she tells you to do something bad, such as shirk, then there should be no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator.
 Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly” [Luqmaan 31:15]
 (f)               After one’s mother dies, it is Sunnah to fulfil any vows that she had made, and to give charity and perform Hajj and ‘Umrah on her behalf.
 It was reported from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) that a woman from Juhaynah came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “My mother vowed to go for Hajj, but she died before she did so. Can I perform Hajj on her behalf?” He said, “Yes, perform Hajj on her behalf. Do you not think that if your mother owed a debt that you would pay it off for her? Fulfil her debt to Allaah, for Allaah is more deserving that what is owed to Him should be paid.” (narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1754).
 (g)              After she dies, it is also Sunnah to honour her by maintaining ties with those whom she used to keep in touch with, such as her relatives and friends.
 It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of righteous deeds is for a man to keep in touch with his father’s friends after he dies.”
(Narrated by Muslim, 2552).

If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.

And lower unto them the wings of submission and humility through mercy and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when i was small."

And say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when i was a nipper."